I never thought I was a dog hater....

This morning I went out to get my newspaper from the front lawn as usual. The day was clear, the birds were singing, I didn't have to be to work for another 2 hours, all was right with the world. I began to putter around my flowerbeds and pluck some weeds. ENTER 3 DOGS. The first dog ran up to me barking and scared the heck out of me. The second dog ran over to my mailbox flowerbed and took a pee. He even looked at me while he was doing it as if to say, "Whatcha gonna do about it, Granny?" The owner of this dog walked over to my driveway and gleefully mentioned that it looked like her dog hadn't gone to the bathroom for days. Dog number three then runs up to me and sniffs my legs as if he's going to lift HIS and mark his territory. Meanwhile, dog number two is STILL spewing a stream into my mailbox flowers. At this point I tell my neighbor, "If you're dog pees on me, we're going to have a BIG problem." Why do dog owners think it's ok to let their animals come and pee on things of value? I wouldn't dream of creeping over to her house,lowering my pants and piddling on the hood of her car. I just don't get it. I still had the mud on my hands from lovingly picking weeds out of the same flowers her dog was spraying. I have decided that I'm going to invent a hideously mean dog zapper. Let's make it a hideously mean ELECTRIFYING dog zapper. I'm imagining a wire attached to a 12 volt battery. No, let's make it a CAR battery with a 350 horsepower punch which will be stratigically placed within my flowerbed. Then...when the next unsuspecting dog comes and lifts his little hind leg and begins to pee on my prize flowers, that live wire will create an electric current which will be carried 'gently up the stream.' You got it baby...a nice quick jolt to the tallywacker. Can you say, "Smokin"? How many times do you think it will take doggie to figure out he's messing with the WRONG MAD GRANDMA?!?